People are very quick to comment on events. I have had to take the time to absorb my own reactions and process them. It’s hard to see that lights are on in the middle of the day. Not enough contrast. You have to wait for dusk to sink in and show you what the bright of day has hidden from you.
Cosby has been found guilty. There have been tweets wishing him good-bye ( probably not in the kindest manner. . . and rightfully so, I guess. ) I know he was not my attacker, but there were very strong emotional responses that pulled at my own wounds. I was completely expecting to hear the verdict as not guilty. I expected him to walk with a gloating smirk on his face thinking he was still America’s favorite Dad.
I remember holding my breath as I walked into the break room where the news was breaking. I even paused to watch as they were announcing there was going to be a verdict. I had my cigarette and tried to erase faces from my mind with inane smoke pad talk. . . trust me, inane conversation littered with laughter is very therapeutic. I walked back into the break room ten minutes later to see in bold print: “Cosby guilty on three counts.” I don’t know what I expected to feel. What I did feel was an overwhelming sense of relief. Finally, a man in power has been held accountable for his disgusting behavior. Finally, someone has told this man that he doesn’t get to get away with his crimes, yes crimes, and leave a trail of trauma, injury, and insult without payment for those deeds. Yes, this is just one of them. There are many. Many of whose survivors remain silent due to fear of reprisal, insult, and potentially physical harm or death.
I can guess why society blames the survivor. It’s so much easier to think the person who is reporting a heinous deed is lying, crazy, vengeful, mentally unstable etc. rather than think that the person being reported is a monster. No one wants to think that someone the person they care about and trust is a monster hiding in human skin. No one want to think that their judgement is faulty to an extreme.
Well here’s the thing: the deception of other people is not your fault or a reflection, in any way, on you. Yes, most people who commit these sorts of crimes are counting on their public face and appearance to mislead you and to soak in their words as gospel truth. They can indeed be very manipulative as to create a narrative and privately prod their target into public behavior that seems to validate their narrative. What you don’t see is why you don’t get it and at some point society is just going to have to admit to itself that it is not all-seeing or knowing. That maybe, just maybe, there is more there than what meets the eye and that maybe, what meets the eye is all an illusion.
This is why I like the cards. They don’t lie, they don’t beat around bushes, they don’t try to pretty things up, or create ” spin.” They just paint the picture and let you decide what to do about what they say. My cards don’t let me down. I on occasion have thought I had misinterpreted the cards or thought that it couldn’t possible be as bad as all that, but that wasn’t the cards’ doing. It was mine. So, when people tell me ‘things,’ I listen and let the cards tell me what direction the wind is blowing. I am more likely to hear the truth there than any grapevine investigation.
OK, you’re right, cards are not admissible in court. Don’t care. I don’t work with courts. Hello . . . ? Witch. As you have probably guessed. . . nope. No cards for Bill’s verdict. I sure a HEXES checked out whether he did it or not though.
I understand the reaction of Cosby’s survivors. They have been traumatized repeatedly, first by Bill and then again by public jury and law enforcement circuses, then again through the actual court process. It’s not over for them. There will always be so much more running around in their minds. That sort of thing just never completely goes away. I am glad that there is a sense of closure and vindication for them. It gives me hope that maybe there is finally a glimmering of understanding in the minds of the people who are trying such cases and maybe. . . just maybe the witches can take a break and breathe for a moment.